Day Forty Four

Worst.
Day.
Ever.

I had high hopes for today.
I had the whole day off.
Was going to get a free bra.
Everything was looking good.
Then I left the house.
I went down to the store where I work to get my new free bra.
The store happens to be located right next door to my gym.
I was kinda excited to pick it out.
I usually just get those cheap jog bra's from target and wear two.
So as pathetic as it might seem I was pleased to get a proper one.
It's been a long while since I've been bra shopping.
It's really hard to find nice bigger size bra's.
I'm happy to be back down into the regular sizes.
While I was browsing the bra's I ran into some people I know, one girl who usually works on my floor was helping out in lingerie came over while I was browsing to say hello and what not.
The next thing I know she is calling me over to help her.
I go over and she is with a customer, at cute one at that, who looks a little bit ackward that this woman has gotten me involved in whatever he is looking for.
He looks at me in my street cloths and says "it looks like she is on her day off just shopping" the girl cuts him off and says "that's okay she works here - so is your girlfriend bigger than Sarah? Like is she as wide as Sarah? As fat?"
I was just in shock.
I felt bad for this poor guy.
He just came to buy a robe for his girlfriend.
Not to tear apart myself esteem.
Or be involved in one of the worst experiences of my life.
He frowns at her, shakes his head and gives me a sympathetic look.
I can tell that he is extremely uncomfortable - I know I was.
I feel bad for him and want to end the awkwardness
I smile and say "it's okay - if she is smaller - go with the large".
This women then takes him over to the robe section.
I am just standing there wondering if that just really happened.
I try to go back to looking at the bra's but I could feel the tears.
I just had to get out of the store.
I was going to start crying.
There was nothing I could do to stop it.
Called a friend when I got out side - I'm crying at this point.
As I'm telling her what happened I see the guy at the bus stop.
He waves and gives me another sympathetic look.
I smile back but it just made me feel worse.
I keep walking down the street till I find and empty place to sit.
I'm a bit of a mess at this point.
Cry face - all red and blotchy.
So I sit there for bit to calm down.
It's not working.
I was still crying crying.
Called another friend who was downtown to come meet me.
Went for drinks.
Chatted.
I feel better.
But still not great.
I know I should have more self esteem.
That the words of one thoughtless person shouldn't make me cry.
But I don't have more self esteem than that.
I'm going to work really hard not to let this spiral.
Turn these bad feelings into motivation.
I never want to feel this way again.
I think I'm going to bring this up with my manager tomorrow.
No one should have to feel like I did today.
Or how that customer felt.

Worst.
Day.
Ever.